First impressions generally don’t lie. There may be some exceptions to this rule, but I’ve found the vast majority of mine hold true. This means, ladies, go with your gut. If you think he’s an idiot, he probably is. And gentlemen, not to make you paranoid, but for pete’s sake, be careful what comes out of your mouth in the first five minutes that I meet you. There are some things you just shouldn’t say:
Now, I should have known when his chat box popped up on the site that I should decline, and to be honest, I was basing it solely on his profile picture. I talked myself out of being shallow, and clicked “yes”. When the chat window appeared, I immediately clicked “view profile.” I should have exited chat when I read his intro.
” I am a take charge ex military guy who works a lot. I like reading. I like developing new ideas and concepts.”
Andi, why would you exit chat JUST based on that? Judgmental much?
Yeah, that was my reaction to my gut instinct too, so I stayed.
My first impression (without having spoken to him yet): Someone who likes reading usually likes writing as well, or is at least capable of it. He sure didn’t say a whole lot. And if he’s so into taking charge, why wouldn’t he outline who he is or what he’s looking for or.. something..anything. Oh, and “developing new ideas and concepts” screams NERD to me. Nerds are ok. I’m kinda nerdy in my own right. But I have a limit to my toleration.
Him: Hey Andi
Him: You were so pretty! Why you chop your hair off????
……. Enter a long pause….. Did he just refer to my “prettiness” in the past tense?? As if chopping my hair off now makes me less pretty?? Wait a minute. I changed my profile picture from one of me with slightly longer hair to shorter hair a week or so ago. Is he stalking my profile?? Craaaaap.
Me: So you are saying I’m ugly now.
Him: Well, I like long hair
You blocked him from talking to you?? Harsh much??
Yes, but it was for his own good. I was in the mood to speak my mind. I wouldn’t have been nice. He may have cried. I saved him the pain.
But he DID tell you that you were pretty! He was trying to compliment you!
He tried. He failed. Miserably. Better luck next time! Besides, I don’t want a man to have an opinion on the length of my hair within five seconds of conversing with me. It screams control freak. No thank you. Does my man’s opinion matter? Yes. Sort of.
Maybe not about how I choose to cut my hair, but on things that actually matter, of course! But that type of respect needs to be earned. I’m not handing it out to the first guy in line simply because he’s available.