To be a fashionable woman is to know yourself, know what you represent, and know what works for you. To be “in fashion” could be a disaster on 90 percent of women. You are not a page out of Vogue. ~Author Unknown
If you have never visited http://www.peopleofwalmart.com/photos/ don’t do it!! It’s frightening. Lemme tell ya. It is mind-blowing what members of the general public will wear in the name of fashion, or simply being comfortable. If you’ve ever seen the TLC show, What Not To Wear, then you know the two biggest excuses for folks dressing ridiculously are “…i think i look hot!” and “…but it’s comfortable!” I do not claim to be the most fashion forward chick in the world. I am not a brand whore. I could care less where my clothes come from. I’ve never shopped for myself at American Eagle. I do not have a shoe obsession. And I buy pants whenever and wherever I can find them long enough. But there are some things I will NEVER wear…..And you shouldn’t either.
Pants with words written across the derierre. “gahhhhh, I hate it when guys stare at my butt when I walk by.” You have “Juicy/GAP/BoyToy written across you’re rear-end like it’s a massive billboard! What did you expect them to do?! If you’re arse is suddenly legible, they are gonna read it. You make me want to use a Sharpie to write wide load on your waistband.
Spandex. If you aren’t auditioning to be a superhero, or trying out to make the Olympic swimming team, don’t do it!
Mini skirts. You wanna know who looks good in a mini? A toddler who is also wearing opaque tights. If you are capable of reading this, I’m quite sure you do not qualify. As for skirts that aren’t technically considered “mini”, if it is bigger in width than it is in length, leave it on the rack. Just because they make it in your size, does not mean you should wear it.
Tube tops. Do I even need to explain this one? Just the name ensures it’s probably a bad choice. I will go a step farther and say ANYTHING strapless should be left
in your closet at the store unless it’s your wedding day, you’re attending a formal event, or heading directly from your hotel room to the beach.
Kilts. Men.Do.Not.Wear.Skirts. The only way this is even remotely acceptable is if you are wearing the traditional outfit that is accompanied by bagpipes…and you better be playing the instrument.
Skinny Jeans. Case in point. *See the quote at the top of the post.* Yes, they are in style right now, but for Pete’s sake, I weigh 125 lbs, and wouldn’t be caught dead in them! There are precious few women who can properly pull off the look. Let’s just assume you are not one of them… Even if you think you are. Chances are greater than 95% you are wrong.
Hair dye. Easy rule of thumb. If the color you are considering would be easily recognized on a tie-dyed t-shirt, don’t do it.
Chains, Dog Collars. The dominatrix effect isn’t working. You are not a dog. Cut it out.
Cut-off jean shorts. Buy jeans. Buy jean shorts (again, they need to be longer in length than width). If you MUST cut off your jeans. Hem them. Please. And if you are a dude, IT.IS.NOT.OK if they are riding up your thighs. That’s more information than we want. Put on some decent pants.
Hawaiian shirts. If you are not in Hawaii or the Florida Keys, this is not permissible. Don’t argue with me. I’ll strangle you with a lei.
Do you have any style pet peeves?