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So it’s my mom’s birthday today. My parents routinely joke about how they hope to stay out of my blog. Well, their streak is about to end. The following are just a few of the crazy, random things I’ve learned from my mother in my 28 years-minus-eleven-days of existence.

1. “Life is rough and then you die.”  ….Mom’s favorite quote anytime I complained about doing chores around the house. I probably heard it at least twice a day. And she was totally right.

2. “Everyone is weird but me and thee….and sometimes I think thee is a bit weird too.”  …Technically it’s my grandmother’s quote, but it’s mom’s response when I tell her people are utterly insane.

3.  There is very little more fun than grabbing random things off the rack at the store just to try them on in the dressing room to see how ridiculous you look.  I’m pretty sure she and I have scared quite a few dressing room attendants with our hysterical laughter, and occasional bursts of “I am NOT coming out there in this!!”

4. Life would be more interesting if vehicles were equipped with rocket launchers to remove slow drivers from the road. Seriously, if you see her behind you on the interstate, MOVE OVER!!!

5.  Dumping grape juice over his head is a perfectly acceptable way to end an argument. ….or maybe that’s just the moral I choose to take away from that story…..

So, Mom, thanks for teaching me all the really valuable lessons in life!