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I hold my breath when I open emails now. Not all emails, mind you. Just the ones dating/guy related. All I can say is THANK GOD some of you are not as clueless as 99% of the male population. I suppose it’s entirely possible that I’m asking too much…that my expectations are far too high. But seriously….

Is it too much to ask that he have a personality? There have been far too many emails of “HI!” or “Wat’s up”. Incidentally, when did it become popular to substitute  “what” for “wat”. I get that we are in a new generation full of grammatically incorrect short-hand, but some of it is just ridiculous. I don’t mind people who never capitalize. I don’t mind a few misplaced commas. I don’t mind “u” instead of “you”. I do mind “wit” instead of “with”. For heaven’s sake! WIT was it’s own word long before the invention of text messages and smart-phones! Is it just me, or are smart-phones making people stupid? On second thought, that is not the problem. People have always been stupid. Only now we get to witness their stupidity in real time via Facebook and Twitter!

Sorry, I got a little distracted…. personality..that’s what we were discussing. For the love of relationships everywhere, if you can’t carry on a decent conversation, don’t start one!.. at least not with me. I will maybe make a genuine effort to talk to you if you IM me or send an email, but I need something to work with! While I realize some girls (and guys) are capable of talking non-stop without input, I am not one of those people. And if you need someone THAT talkative, you deserve to marry a narcissist. Good luck with that.

“But Andi, I’m not good at communicating through writing!” Then why the crap are you on a dating website where all initial communication is via the written word?! Do you have thoughts in your brain? Can you type? Then you have no excuse. What do you think I’m gonna do? Blog about you? Throw a drink at you as a sign of rejection? It’s the internet! I’m not going to short out my keyboard on account of you.

Is it too much to ask that he READ the profile first? Men are visual. I get that. Really. I do. But given the premise of a dating website, one would think the written profile would be at least somewhat useful in determining whether or not I’m someone you really wanna converse with or not. Three days ago, I got two emails from the same individual. They read as follows :

4:09pm: Wat’s up?

…. it took serious self control to not respond with “obviously not the wattage in that light bulb above your head.”…. 

4:21pm: Ok well I just sent you an email before I read your introduction.No offense         but you seem like a %$#!%.I mean I admire you being real and all but your not hot enough to be talkin like that.Please tell me what makes you so special.

….Why am I special, you say? Since you asked… cuz my momma said so!

  • Because I can use the space bar after the end of a sentence.
  • Because I am capable of reading profiles, and recognizing humor when it is intended.
  • Because when I swear, I don’t use symbols to hide my true intent.
  • Because I don’t feel the need to rate hotness as an excuse to be a jackass.

What do you think? Am I out of line? Expecting too much?